God of Ramen
by NeonZangetsu
Summary: Before creation, there must come destruction. These words have been hammered into my head time after time; and I've got the bruises to prove it. I always believed in God, ya know? But no one told me he dressed like a clown and liked to eat noodles! This is the story of how a boy grew into a man, and how a man became a God...OF RAMEN! NarutoxVados? Harem? Pairing undecided! VOTE!
1. God of Ramen

**A/N: I return my subjects! So, I've been going over reviews, and an anonymous reviewer said something that really resonated with me. I love to write. But sometimes, I feel that this gift owns me, rather than I, owning it. Its like a beast inside me, this urge to create, but I can't control it very well, which results in a LOT of new stories. So as of last night, and continuing throughout the week, I'm purging stories that won't be continued.**

 **Let me know which ones you feel should be continued, before its too late! Don't worry, many of the major ones will remain, but anything from 2008-2009 is likely going out the window with all the rest of the trash, never to be seen again. This may seem sudden I know, but I'm only purging the forgotten fics that no one cares for. Fear not, its not going to be immediate, but it WILL happen, I simply wanted to get this out as a forewarning.**

 **This will be of of my last new stories, god willing, as I devote myself to my other works, soon to number into the hundreds, and potentially dozens as I whittle them down. I need to reassess why I want to write, for the joy of it, and I can't do that by letting you guys down with old, crappy stories I wrote in my early days.**

 **LET THE BRAND NEW ERA BEGIN!**

 **This, my final idea for the time, as it were, sprang from watching Battle of Gods in english dub. And after that, I was treated to a rare privilege of the new Dragonball Z Revival of F in japan. And I thought to myself. What a movie! But then I thought something else. Something...strange. What was Whis up to during that long nap thirty-nine year nap Beerus took? This...**

 **...is my idea of what could happen during those thirty-nine years.**

 _"Oh! And what do you call this?"_

 _"Ramen."_

 _"Delightful!"_

 _~Whis and Naruto._

 **Creation**

 _Before creation there must always come destruction._

 _I have been told this many times, countless times, more than I can count. Its literally been beaten into my head time and time again. I've got the bruises to prove it. Destruction is important, because if something isn't destroyed, it can never be renewed. Just as creation serves its own place in the cycle; if something is not created, then it cannot be destroyed. But more than that, creation is truly a beautiful thing._ _The old die, and the young are born._

 _Just as a dying forest must fall to make way for the new seeds._ _After all, a fire must burn before it is born anew._

 _But is the forest not beautiful regardless?_

 _See, that's where my opinion differs from what I've been taught. Does there have to be a cycle? I don't think so. I'm not a serious guy; I can appreciate a good joke, now and again. But I don't think this is a joke, and I still can't bring myself to just snuff out a life like that unless I absolutely have to. Not the violent type, even back then._

 _They say absolute power corrupts, absolutely._

 _Maybe they're right._

 _Once you hold ultimate power in your hands, the ability to snuff out a word with the flick of your finger, life and death take on a whole new meaning. I can relate. I went from a weakling with no talent to a planet buster over the course of many years, but not without cost; I had to sacrifice and bleed, sweat and scrape, beg and **cry** for every scrap of power I now possess. _

_You cannot be reborn, until you are broken._

 _This is that story._

 _The story of a how a boy's dream died..._

 _...and from the ashes of that dream, a God was born._

* * *

Whis was bored.

Even as the strongest being in the universe, an entity without match, a being without peer, this was the one foe he could not defeat. Oh, boredom could be forestalled of course, even ignored at times, but it could never truly be avoided, never simply destroyed like a planet.

Ah, and there was the crux of the matter.

He'd lived for countless millennia, visited planets on the edge of the abyss, stared into the great beyond and wondered at the void that lay within. He should be able to best boredom easily, he told himself.

And yet, for the life of him, here, today, in the black of space, Whis couldn't seem to escape its clutches!

But like any omnipotent deity, he went to great lengths to avoid that boredom. Great Lengths indeed. He had already circled the galaxy three thousand times in the last hour, performed two thousand push-ups and even sang one thousand verses- _far, far, FAR away from Lord Beerus, naturally-_ of his favorite songs. Beerus himself wouldn't wake for some time yet and while Thirty-nine years was nothing but a drop in the ocean for beings like them

Hey, he was bored. Boredom, and the tireless fight to escape it, made you do strange things. He was even beginning to consider leaving this universe entirely when he saw it.

Something that caught his eye.

"Well, well, well, what have we here?"

A small, quaint little world, one he had never seen before...

* * *

Uzumaki Naruto was beginning to wonder if the universe really had it out for him. It certainly seemed that way, sometimes.

Only seven years old, he was smaller than most kids half his age, far skinnier too. Some of the kids in the academy called him frail. He liked to think of himself as lean and mean, sans the mean. He ate just enough to survive the day-to-day minutia of the village, nothing more. The stipend given to him by the Hokage was good for semi-decent food at least but little else. But he was smart and clever, and strove every day to learn as much as he could. Even when the teachers refused to teach him properly.

Ah, well. At least he was alive, right?

 **Brrrrrnmnmmmmmmmmble...**

Alive, and hungry it seemed.

Ichiraku Ramen was one of the few places where he could actually escape all this, if only for a little while. Ayame and Teuchi were always good to him, treating him when he couldn't afford food. Still, that grand dream of becoming Hokage felt so distant in his young mind; today, he just wanted to get a bite to eat, avoid those who were looking to bash his skull in, play a few pranks, maybe, just maybe talk to _her,_ and go home. That was all he had in mind for today when he pushed the flap aside.

Instead he found himself look at a man with teal skin, white hair, and rather effeminate features. In his seat!

In!

His!

Seat!

The young blond fidgeted, uncertain of what action he should take. Fight and flight warred within him, alongside a generous portion of fright. Part of him wanted to tell the darn jerk to get the hell out of his seat-the rest him was screaming a warning. Danger, danger, DANGER! Run! Flee! Hide! Unbeknownst to him, the demon in his stomach was currently cowering like a kicked puppy in the presence of this being. Even the dreaded nine tails knew when it was bested.

Naruto knew nothing of it, only that something was telling him to turn around and walk back the way he came.

But he didn't.

"Erm...

Across his back lay a long scepter with an equally long gem floating well above it. Around his neck, a large light blue ring. His attire consisted of a maroon robe, a black cuirass with white and orange diamond decoration accompanying a blue sash. He also seemed to wear black high-heeled shoes with white spats.

All in all, Naruto thought he was terribly odd. He looked like a clown. Perhaps it was that disbelief that allowed him to speak.

"'S'cuse me, but that's my seat?"

"Hmm?" The blue-skinned man looked up from his meal with a befuddled expression, noodles hanging from his mouth. After a moment he seemed to remember he was wast still eating and swallowed them. "I'm terribly sorry. Here, I'll move." And he did just that, vacating his position for the stool beside it.

Naruto took a moment to ponder this.

It wasn't every day that someone actually _listened_ to him outside of Ayame and her father _-old man hokage's halfhearted promises certainly didn't count, there-_ but the idea of someone he'd never met before, a complete and total stranger actually making way from him...well, the experience was so novel he didn't quite know what to do with it. What to say, even.

Sometimes, the English language can be woefully inadequate.

"Uh...thanks."

So in the end, Naruto gave into hunger and climbed onto the seat. He didn't have long to wait before Teuchi noticed him.

"What'll it be, Naruto?"

"One miso ramen, please!"

"Coming right up!" Ayame chirruped happily beside her father, darting back behind the curtain.

And just like that, Naruto found himself alone with the man who had almost stolen his seat. He glanced at him out of the corner of his eye, frowning. There was something off about him. A strange presence exuded by a being he couldn't bring himself to understand. A god. A deity. But to Naruto, he was just a strange man with white hair. Curious, certainly, weird, but, dangerous? He didn't think so. Perhaps, had he known this stranger was capable of annihilating him-and his world-with a flick of the wrist, he would have been more wary.

Because then, to his shock, the blue man looked _back._

Naruto stiffened.

"I-Is there something on my face?"

"No, no," the pale one reassured him. "I was just thinking."

Curiosity compelled him to inquire.

"What about?"

That white brow rose marginally. "About why you have that _demon_ sealed in your stomach."

Naruto nearly fell off his chair!

"D-D-D-Demon?! What're you talking about?!"

"Oh." the man blinked. "I take it you didn't know."

"NO, I DID NOT!"

Awkward didn't even begin to describe it.

"Its quite alright, nothing to be surprised about. I've seen stranger things than seals in my day. Although," a slender finger jabbed Naruto in the stomach, eliciting a startled squawk of surprise from the blond, "Whoever wove it did a shoddy job. They should have just killed the beast and given you the energy-that way you wouldn't have to deal with its hatred. Still, that's an impressive amount of power locked away in your body. Are there others like you? Are you the strongest of your kind?" The constant onslaught of questions threw him so hopelessly of his game that he couldn't even begin to recover.

He had no idea that he was being scrutinized as well; that for every instant in which he tried to assess this man, that man assessed _him._ Evaluated him, and the curious strength he'd sensed within his body. The seven-year-old never stood a chance.

"I dunno?"

"Well, don't worry about it." the man reassured him. "I'm sure you'll be quite powerful some day, with or without that."

"So confused right now..

"One miso ramen for you, and a mystery bowl for our guest." And then Ayame came swooping in and crushed his argument altogether. Reminded of his hunger, Naruto snatched up the bowl and dug into it with gusto. A light laugh came from the stranger.

"You certainly seem to enjoy that."

"Yup! Miso ramen's the best!"

"Oh! And what do you call this?" the whitehead inquired, pointing to his own bowl. "I'm rather curious myself."

Naruto scratched the back of his head, nervously. He was only seven after all; he wasn't entirely sure he should be talking to this man. Far be it form him not to enlighten someone on the wonders of ramen, though. He was beginning to think this man wasn't entirely sane...

"That's super chicken teriyaki." he said with a slight sweatdrop, trying not to stare as Whis gobbled down the noodle broth with great gusto. What madness was this? The man acted like he'd never tasted ramen before in all his life. Heresy! Ramen was supposed to the food of the gods! Ramen was all! Well, at least it was to him...

"Delightful!"

Another beat of silence passed between them as they ate. "You got a name, mister?"

"Ah." the stranger sighed, dabbing at his pale mouth with a napkin. "I do indeed. You may call me Whis. Might I know yours?"

...Naruto."

"A pleasure to meet you, then, Naruto. Oh! I simply _must_ know what this is!"

"Well, that's what I'm having...

What followed was a strange, but amusing series of events as Whis ordering everything Ichiraku had to offer; sampling wares, each time asking what it was.

"Tokyo tempura."

 _"Glorious!_ And this?"

"So sukiyaki."

 _"Heavenly!_ What about that?"

"Asian barbecue pork."

 _"Sublime!_ The flavor is impeccable! Now, whatever might that be?"

"That's a Wonton Bomb."

 _"I lives up to the name!_ Ooh, and those?"

"Extra kick Yuzu."

 _"Hey, move it brat!"_

The sudden exclamation baffled Naruto, until he realized it wasn't _Whis_ who had spoken to him. A large hand came swinging in from the left and swatted him across the head before he could turn and blink, knocking him out of the seat to the ground with contemptuous ease. He looked up and glowered at the one responsible. He knew that voice. That face. Tarro, the butcher. His name was literally his career; a large, beefy man who had a penchant for a loose tongue and looser fists.

Just another man looking down at him, calling him scum.

Now that he knew the _reason_ , it made his blood boil.

"Hey, Tarro!" he cried. "I was sitting there!"

The large man grunted.

"Demon spawn should sit on the floor. Oi, Teuchi!" A meaty fist pounded the counter. "I'm hungry! Hurry up and get me some grub!"

Whis simply turned his head.

"That was uncalled for. You should give him his seat back." His body shifted ever so slightly on the stool Naruto noticed with a slight cringe, fingers drumming harmlessly against the bowl. He was almost certain that his new friend was about to get himself killed.

Tarro growled, his thick neck turning towards the lanky-and seemingly feeble-man who'd dared to challenge him.

"Oh? And whaddya gonna do about it, you damn clown-

In response, the God leaned forward and flicked him in the face.

 _Hard._

"GAH!"

Naruto could only gawp at the tear of destruction that followed; one moment Tarro was sitting in his seat, the next Whis flicked a finger and the beefy man went flying out of Ichiraku. Sheer chaos was left behind in the wake of his abrupt departure; the street looked as though a meteor had plowed into it from on high. At the far end of the block lay a steaming, smoldering body that undoubtedly belonged to Tarro. He'd flown so swiftly that the very air had ignited around him, liquifying his very skin.

Ayame balked and scurried back into the kitchen. "Oh. Um...ah...I need to wash the dishes!"

A beat of silence passed between the rest, after that.

"How rude of him." Whis sniffed. "I thought this planet was more civilized than that. Still," he tilted his head back and laughed softly.

 _"What a lovely day!"_

Naruto's head whipped around so hard he nearly gave himself whiplash.

"WHAT THE HELL?!"

"My apologies if I frightened you, but simply I have not had this much fun in ages!" the god proclaimed cheerily, lowering his now empty bowl to the counter amidst the rest. "Its a rare thing when I can sample so many delicacies in one day _and_ smite fools like that without having to worry about a planet." He noticed Naruto's disbelief and smiled pleasantly. "And, as a token of my thanks, I have an offer for you. Although, no, no, its too soon." He leaned back, scrutinizing him. "I'm not sure you'd be able to handle it, even if you wanted to...

The boy sank his teeth into the bait like a starving shark.

"What? WHAT! Tell me!"

Whis's smile grew another fraction of an inch.

 _Gotcha._

"How would you like to become the New God of Destruction once Lord Beerus kicks the bucket?"

* * *

 _(Galaxies away...)_

"ACHOO!"

Bills sneezed in his sleep, flopped around, rolled over, and dozed once more.

"God...Super Saiyan...God...

* * *

 _(Currently...)_

Naruto blinked.

Once.

Twice.

Thee times.

"Lord? New God of what now?"

"Right, right," Whis nodded, head bobbing woefully as he rose to his feet. "I suppose explanations _are_ required." Taking his staff in hand he began walking, leaving the boy to clamor after him. "You see, the God of Destruction happens to be an esteemed pupil of mine. He likes to take a nap every few centuries or so however, which leaves me with very little to do. Boredom is a terrible thing, you know. Surely you understand that?"

Naruto had no idea what was happening here; what was going on. Was this a dream? His little mind was left spinning like a top, eyes rolling as he struggled to process what was going on. He could only nod and gulp as they walked past Tarro's corpse. No one even looked at them. As if they simply weren't there. As if they didn't exist at all.

Still in shock, he could only follow Whis.

"And you're asking me...what?"

"What I'm asking you this: how would you like to become a god?" came the renewed inquiry as the deity glanced down at him. "It would require years of training of course, and you'd have to devote yourself to it utterly, but I assure you the results are well worth it. Not that I wouldn't benefit from it too of course; I'd actually have someone to talk to, and in turn you'd have a mentor."

"But I want to be Hokage." Naruto protested weakly.

"A God is most certainly _better_ than a Hokage." Whis promised him, gently rapping his forehead with his staff. "I'd even go so far as to say you'd be superior. You would stand above all others, be without equal, without peer against any other beyond myself-and Lord Beerus of course. Oh, don't make that face! Its not like I'm forbidding you to come back here once you've completed your training. In fact," he chortled, "I actually think it might be amusing."

The silence was telling.

Finally Whis slowed, and it was then that Naruto realized where the God had been leading him. The gates of Konoha loomed before them; great, towering walls of wood and steel barring passage to all but the chosen. It was here that Whis faced him at last. And it was here, that Naruto dared to ask the question that had been burning in the back of his mind ever since Whis leveled Tarro like a field of wheat.

"Would I be strong?"

"The strongest." Whis reaffirmed.

Naruto looked at him long and hard, and the severity of that expression nearly made Whis weep for the childhood the boy never had. There such scars on his psyche, wounds that might never truly heal. But he felt that he owed it to him to try. What he said next however, made him rethink that notion.

"Stronger than you?"

"Hmm." For the first time since they'd met, the deity's face lost its smile. He seemed to seriously consider the question for a long moment. At last, he shrugged. "Well, I doubt you'd become quite as strong as I am, but anything's possible, I suppose. With my training, so long as you learn to tame that beast inside of you, you'll go far.

One didn't need telepathy to see the boy's spirit sor.

"G-Good. I need to become strong. I have to be."

"Ah, do you have something you want to protect?" When Naruto didn't answer, that sly, paternal smile grew. "Or is it someone?"

Naruto colored right to the roots of his hair.

Whis beamed. "I see. Ah, young love~! Well, that would explain it. Ah, I remember falling in love, such a wonderful emotion..."

"Sh-Shut up...

"But really," Whis pressed, "What do you have that keeps you here? Besides your dream and this crush of yours, that is."

Naruto opened his mouth to say just that...

...and closed it. What did he have indeed? Nothing. No, wait, he did have something.

 _Someone._

Ayame was special to him of course, but today was just another example of what the village thought of him. If he really did have this creature-this monster-inside of him, and others were treating him poorly for it, what reason had he to stay? He couldn't protect her as he was now. He could barely even protect himself. Such thoughts might have seemed introspective for one so young, but today, of all days, had proven to be a wake-up call long in coming.

He would become strong. Strong enough to protect everything he held dear. Maybe even her, one of the few that had shown him any real kindness.

And then what? He didn't know.

But with every fiber of his being, he wanted to learn.

"Would you like to come with me, then?" Whis offered his hand. "This is the last time I'll ask."

Naruto's eyes.

Got.

Really.

 _Big._

Slowly, tentatively, he accepted the proffered palm.

 _"Yes."_

"Very good! Now, if you'd kindly hold onto me, we can get started." Raising his scepter, his newfound mentor muttered a command, its jewel glowing a bright, verdant blue. That was the only warning Naruto received in that instant; then all of space warped around them, the very air coalescing into a great pillar of energy. And into that energy, Whis rocketed upright, his new passenger in tow. The boy yelped!

"Wait wait, what are you _doiiiiiiiing_...!"

With a single tap of the staff...

...Uzumaki Naruto vanished from the world of shinobi.

He would not return for many years.

 **A/N: And there we have it! Naruto being mentored by Whis himself! Pairing is up in the air folks, as this story will range far and wide across the cosmos. Naruto will indeed become a god, but he's not going to confine himself to one world, of course!**

 **Who knows what might happen?! Hells, Naruto could end up with one of the few DBZ girls for all we know. If so, I'm leaning towards Videl. The Hinata pairing may be one of my favorites, but I've got Beyond the Shadows for that that, and I feel NarutoxSakura has been done to death as it is.**

 **And yes, Naruto is crushing hard on Ayame. But whether anything comes of it remains to be seen. Shall we go with that?**

 **Or, do we need something new?! Refreshing! Something that'll sink its teeth into you and shake you like a T-Rex! Something that'll make ya laugh, giggle, smile, and saw AAAAAW! You know what I'm talking about, right? That's we're ya'll come in! Enlighten me!**

 **NOW VOTE!**

 **So...in the Immortal Words of Atlas...**

 **...Review, Would You Kindly? And of course, enjoy the preview! YUP, BLATANTLY AMUSING TFS reference here, folks!**

 **(Preview)**

 _Orochimaru gawped, blinking at the hole that that now occupied three fourths of his being._

 _It couldn't end like this._

 _He still had so much to say, so much to do, he still had to take Sasuke-kun's body! And yet, yet this attack had pierced through him as though his new body were made of clay. He couldn't find the strength to spit out a new body, couldn't become a snake and slither away into the shadows. He found himself paralyzed, petrified by the young man's stare, those gleaming, golden eyes staring down at him like an angry god's. A hand took hold of his prone body and tossed him into the ground, soil bursting beneath his flesh._

 _So dark. He couldn't see anything. Anything at all._

 _By the time he finally righted himself, he had no idea where he was. Exasperated he crawled into a standing position, gasping:_

 _"Graaaaaaaaaaaah, what the hell is happening right now?! WHERE THE FUCK AM I?!"_

 _Wait? What was that noise?_

 _And yet now he **could** see something, a bright radiance overshadowing all else, banishing the darkness to the corners of his vision..._

 _"Hold on, now I see a light..._

 _"Walk towards it." the blond deity opened his hands, still smoking from the explosive blast. A menacing sphere snarled in those palm, keening wildly. And then, he tossed it._

 ** _"RASENSHURIKEN!"_**

 _Orochimaru balked as the white light seared itself into his eyes._

 _"What the heeeeeeeeeeelll..._

 _The last thing the sinister sannin saw was the spiraling ball of doom hurtling towards his face._

 **R &R~! =D**


	2. Might and Right

**A/N: I return my loyal subjects! So, I've been going over reviews, and an anonymous reviewer said something that really resonated with me. I love to write. But sometimes, I feel that this gift owns me, rather than I, owning it. Its like a beast inside me, this urge to create, but I can't control it very well, which results in a LOT of new stories. So as of last night, and continuing throughout the week, I'm purging stories that won't be continued.**

 **Let me know which ones you feel should be continued, before its too late! Don't worry, many of the major ones will remain, but anything from 2008-2009 is likely going out the window with all the rest of the trash, never to be seen again. This may seem sudden I know, but I'm only purging the forgotten fics that no one cares for. Fear not, its not going to be immediate, but it WILL happen, I simply wanted to get this out as a forewarning.**

 **This will be of of my last new stories, god willing, as I devote myself to my other works, soon to number into the hundreds, and potentially dozens as I whittle them down. I need to reassess why I want to write, for the joy of it, and I can't do that by letting you guys down with old, crappy stories I wrote in my early days.**

 **LET THE BRAND NEW ERA BEGIN!**

 **This, my final idea for the time, as it were, sprang from watching Battle of Gods in english dub. And after that, I was treated to a rare privilege of the new Dragonball Z Revival of F in japan. And I thought to myself. What a movie! But then I thought something else. Something...strange. What was Whis up to during that long nap thirty-nine year nap Beerus took? This...**

 **...is my idea of what could happen during those thirty-nine years. Also, PLENTY of TFS references in here XD**

 **ALSO! A major change to one character, here. Gotta love the "many alternate universes" concept that someone guessed at! For those who have played Dragon Ball Heroes, you should know this one quite well...remember folks, this is an AU! Events are bound to be different!**

 _"That was an impressive technique just now. Have you decided on a name for it?"_

 _"Yeah, I was thinking..._

 _"Don't leave us in suspense, my boy!"_

 _...Rasenshuriken."_

 _"Where did you come up with that?"_

 _"Dunno. It just felt...right, I guess..."_

 _~Whis and Naruto._

 **Might and Right**

 _If you could have one wish, what would it be?_

 _Anything in the world, anything at all._

 _Think about it for a moment. Just...think. What would you ask for? Wealth? Fame? Power? Something more specific, perhaps? Eternal youth? Invulnerability? Immortality? Or perhaps something else? Respect? Adulation by your peers? When you think about it, you can't make a decision, can you? You would want all of these things and more, not just the one. Speed! Strength! Agility! The power to protect those dear to you and might to DESTROY those who would hurt them!_

 _The power to spit in the face of fate and make it your bitch!_

 _No, you CAN'T ask for more wishes!_

 _When my mentor first asked me what I would wish for, had I such an opportunity, I despaired._

 _I didn't need just the one. I needed them all!_

 _What point is there in power, if you can't catch your opponent? What good is speed without strength? I had no desire to be feared either-when I finally understood why everyone was so terrified of me, I wanted to strive even harder to prove them_

 _Then I realized something._

 _What's the point of wishing when you can grasp it with your own hands?_

 _You wanna fly? I crawled on the ground until my body learned how to leave the earth. Strength? I fought for years until I could flatten a mountain by LOOKING at it. Speed? I raced lightning and roared with thunder. I walked through fire and water, discovered how to breathe without air, even found a way to reconstitute myself at the molecular level; vanish from one dimension and reappear in the next. Time itself is now little more than an annoyance to me, the laws of reality circumvented by a mere thought._

 _All of these things came from both my tenant, as well as the art of godly Ki and all its many aspects. I see now that was the point of his question._

 _Wishes._

 _Pah!_

 _What need have I of wishes when I'm everything I ever wanted? I fought and I trained and I DRAGGED myself along until I reached a level most wouldn't even dare dream of. And what did I do with this power? Did I set out to conquer the universe and burn my name into the stars? Did I become a devil, terrible and feared by all?_

 _Of course not!_

 _This ain't that kind of story!_

 _Y'see, I'm not the bad guy here, though my enemies might disagree. Me?_

 _I'm just a God of Ramen._

 _But then again, ya'll already know that, right? I mean, its the bloody TITLE of the story! What you WANT to see is the how. You're probably wondering how I accomplished all the feats mentioned above. There was no instant powerup, no tapping of stored power. Everything I am now, I become over years -MANY years!- of training with one of the most powerful, if not THE STRONGEST beings in this universe. I was tested time and time again, made my own enemies, gained followers, and became infamous, all in my own way._

 _So lets get to the how, shall we?_

 _We'll start with my first real battle._

 _No, slaughtering a certain snake doesn't count. Still, if there's one thing that I've learned..._

 _...its that might doesn't make right._

* * *

Yardrat.

The sun burned faintly down out at a steadily darkening yellow sky, its futile attempts at illumination thinly washing the vast towers and wastes of the planet in brilliant golden light. The resultant glare rose and was nigh but immediately swallowed by the clouds. The once rough, rugged surface of the planet, once clad in a wet shimmer of blistering heat, now growing dangerously cold with each passing moments. Light tried, and failed to fill the gaps between the massive cliff faces and solitary outcroppings of the mountains that were the planet's sole distinguishing feature.

Sharply etched, the monoliths stood like sentinels keeping watch as their world slowly withered away.

Dying.

With each passing second, the populace of this once-peaceful planet faded, just like their planet. Darkness had come to their world many days before, planting the seeds of evil deep within their planet.

For the Yardrats were not a mighty people, even at their best. Though availed of many strange techniques, they had not the strength to repel these invaders. Many had tried regardless, indeed, their bones littered both the mountains and the earth. The few who still remained cowered in their homes, afraid to emerge, even as they grew steadily weaker. Yes, none on this planet possessed the strength to repel the invading force.

Until now.

When the comet streaked past and into the atmosphere, screaming roaring with ferocious outrage and relentless drive, the heat and the light seemed to shatter and the mountains themselves tremble. Clouds shattered at its passing, briefly allowing the light to peek through the hole he'd made. But the comet did not slow once it reached the friction of planet, nay, its speed doubled-then tripled! Because this was no simple ship that fell from the skies. It had a shape.

Form.

Voice.

 _"Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!"_

It was a man.

His body battered, his clothes tattered, it was a marvel he hadn't yet burned up, in his return to the atmosphere. Still he plummeted, the ground rushing up to greet him at breakneck speed.

"No no no no nononono!" he cried! "Shit! Fuck! Piss! How do I stop this thing?!"

It was early fall and the heat was searing. He squinted into bright sun as the dust devils swirled about him, kicking up little puffs as he jolted toward the ground. He closed his eyes at the very last instant and braced himself for the inevitable pain; the jolting agony of the incoming impact. Having awoken earlier to find himself airborne was nothing as he compared it to just how rough his landing was about to be.

Something cracked across his face and sent him sprawling. Something hard and infinitely unyielding.

It was the earth.

He slapped into the ground hard, and with zero control, broken body flipping over as he skidded onto his back. He bounced; one, two, three, four times, before the momentum of his impact drove him back to earth. His head kissed an iron-hard root, made all the worse by the thickness of his skull. Black spots swam before his eyes and left him blind. He tried to stand and succeeded; swearing softly as a bit of dust got in his bright blue eyes, momentarily blinding him against the harsh spring sunlight.

Grunting, the young man picked himself up, springing to his feet.

"Ow...shit, Whis!" he groaned, rubbing his skull. "Why the hell did you toss me down here?! I could've done that myself!"

Alas, his cries went unheard by the deity that had hurled him to this dying world.

"Training, he says." the blond muttered, shaking himself like a wet dog, "Good for me, he says...! HOW IN THE HELL IS THIS GOOD FOR ME?!"

He wore an eclectic mix of orange and white, his hair stuck out in all directions, some sweeping downwards, others sticking up around his back in a wild, spiky mane. His face had hardened with the passing his childhood ages ago, but his bright blue eyes still twinkled with the energy of his youth. A singe, furry crimson tail-not unlike that of a kitsune's, twisted and writhed behind him. Blue eyes scanned the steadily-darkening horizon in an instant, warily regarding the flashes of lightning mingling overhead.

"Wait...this...doesn't make any sense. It should be daytime, yet with all these clouds, its already dark. Did the Tree of Might do this?" A frigid wind chose that moment to manifest and push past him, causing the boy to shudder. _"Brrrggh!_ What the heck?! It shouldn't be this cold!" A subtle pulse of ki prevented his cape from swinging up in the breeze and slapping him in the face. Laughing slightly, he straightened up, searching for the source of the sudden surge in energy.

Long ago, he wouldn't have sensed much of anything.

Now, nearly eighteen years of age, Uzumaki Naruto found himself embarking on his most challenging task yet.

No safety net, no restraint, no backup.

Good times.

"Alright then! Oi! Now, come out, come out wherever you are...

That good humor vanished when he found the bodies.

Rather, what was left of them.

"No...

Registering as little more than a pink blur in his peripherals, he thought they were little more than pink, strangely colored rocks, at first. It wasn't until he accidentally stepped on one that he realized it was a person, no; rather, the head of a person. The dead yardrat's skull stared up at him blankly, as if to ask "Where were you?" and something inside him wrenched. Kneeling slowly, he pushed the little creature's eyes shut, his fingertip ghosting over the dead orbs solemnly.

"I'm sorry," he murmured softly, clenching a fist. "Damnit, I should have been here sooner! Don't worry. I'll avenge you."

 **"Now, that's what I like to hear!"** A deep, sonorous voice resonate inside his skull, dripping with venom. **"Is it time to play? Oh, please tell me its time to play!"**

 _'Shut. Up.'_

A muscle jumped in his jaw as he stood.

Blue eyes snapped towards the storm in the east.

"So, the Tree of Might...it did this...

Stretching out his senses, he seized upon a group of ki signatures, locking on tightly.

...aha! There!"

Taking to the air, he ignited his violet/blue aura and hurtled into the distance.

Unbidden, he recalled his first encounter with ki...

 _(Flashback...)_

 _"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!"_

 _Naruto gasped aloud as he flopped onto the floor, sweating buckets, the white aura vanishing around him. No good! It was no good! He couldn't do it!_

 _"Again." Whis instructed calmly. "You don't have that beast to interfere with you anymore, so I won't accept excuses."_

 _It was true._

 _The consciousness of the fox was still present, niggling at him, but its ever-replenshing chakra-turned ki added onto his own made it worth it. It knew it had no chance of escape with the deity watching over it however, so its preemptive assault on his mind had long since ceased. Theirs was not an easy partnership, but it was one that they abidded by regardless. But it was still there. Even now, he could feel its contempt, like a poison eating away at his good intentions..._

 _Turning that mass of energy into ki had been no mean feat. It had taken nearly a year to build up his body, to convert that thick mass of chakra into a new energy. But with great power came great responsibility-a lack thereof in this case!-and the need to control that power._

 _In this aspect, Uzumaki Naruto was failing miserably._

 _"How the hell do I do this?!"_

 _"Its not just about raising your power level." Whish admonished. "Remember, you're not a saiyan."_

 _"So you've told me." the boy grumbled._

 _"Chakra is all about precision." His mentor reminded him. "Ki is overwhelming power, smashing through your adversary. You have plenty of Ki inside you, Naruto, but you have to learn to control it." For emphasis, he tapped a nearby boulder with his finger. THOOM! It shattered into a thousand pieces at his touch, spraying the boy with small pebbles. "See? In order to learn, you need to forget everything you've been taught. After all, we can't fill a glass that is already full! Oh," he sighed, touching a hand to one cheek, "that was a clever one!"_

 _Naruto sweatdropped. "Right..._

 _"Hmm...ah! I know." Whis's hand smacked into his fist, startling him. "The Kaioken!"_

 _"The Kaio-what?"_

 _"The Kaioken." The deity repeated, beaming. "A technique invented by North Kai. It won't bring you up to our level by any means, but it would certainly give you a head start..."_

 _"Head start on who know?" A sleepy voice interjected blearily. "Oi, Whis, what's with all the noise...?"_

 _"Ah, Lord Beerus!" the fair-skinned being turned, greeting the newcomer._

 _Naruto nearly jumped out of his skin at the sight that greeted him._

 _Who the hell was this strange cat-man?!_

 _"THAT'S Beerus?!"_

 _The infamous God of Destruction uttered a jaw-popping yawn, peering at him_

 _"Huh...who...whuzzat...?"_

 _"This is Naruto." Whis ushered him forward, smiling. "He'll be staying with us for the foreseeable future, keeping me company while you sleep..._

 _"Goody."_

 _...and taking over for you, someday."_

 _"Oh, right, sure sure-WHAT?!"_

 _(End Flashback)_

* * *

The years had been good to him, since.

He had gone from a nobody to a somebody, in the simplest form of the words. He still didn't understand this whole "power level" thing, but he was pretty sure it was bullshit. What he did know was thus; he was faster, stronger, and far more durable than anyone on his planet had any right to be. This power had crushed evildoers galaxies over; with a strength like that, it was hard not to lose yourself to arrogance. Sometimes he felt himself slip, but his powerful sense of righteousness was always there to reign him in, if only just.

But the training, though still far from complete, had already granted his wishes.

It had given him the strength to protect the innocent.

And when that wasn't enough...

 _To avenge._

Alighting at the base of the massive tree-really, it was impossible to miss with an energy like that-the pupil of the gods took a moment to gaze at it. It was massive, easily the size of a large continent, its thick branches stretching up into the dark clouds until they were finally lost from sight. Its very roots radiated a sick, eerie energy, the like of which he'd never before experienced. Just looking at it made him feel ill.

 _"Kaioken."_

Engulfed in the subtle red aura of King Kai's technique, he raised a hand towards the towering tree. Fingers splayed, he readied a blast to obliterate the hateful creation. Near the lowermost branches he could see what appeared to be a space-faring vessel of some sort. Whis had been right, then. This Tree of Might _had_ been planted by someone. And destroying it would likely draw them out. Good. Whoever attacked Yardrat deserved nothing less than complete and utter annihilation.

"So. _You're_ the Tree of Might." he mused. "Nasty thing. I'll destroy you. RASEN-

A spiral of ki slammed into his back before he could finish, detonating explosively against his shoulders. Stumbling slightly he righted himself, vaguely aware of a faint tickling sensation in his back. Huh. His foes had just proven themselves to be even weaker than he thought.

"Now, that wasn't very nice." he remarked, still facing forward, "I do believe you dirtied my cape."

He found himself face to face with several warriors, perched on the lower boughs of the tree. His mind assessed them and their energy in an instant. A tall, swaggering humanoid crouched at the forefront of the strange little group, sporting dark grey armor and a long ponytail of muted green hair. Two purple midgets with little to no ki, an eerie creature that might have been organic once, but now looked to be mostly synthetic. And at the back, a hulking juggernaut of a man with a strange, reddish tint to his skin and hair.

The last, being the one who had blasted him.

 _So, we've got five in all._ he mused. _Five-no, wait._

 _Six._

His eyes swept up as a pale-skinned man with wild, spiky hair landed before him, arms folded imperiously across a broad chest. Dark eyes locked onto him, stabbing like daggers. Naruto frowned. This one's energy was different from the others; not just in the sense that it was high, but that it felt...wrong. Twisted. Tainted somehow. As though a foul darkness had crept into every portion of his ki, rotting it from the inside out.

"Who the hell are you?" he demanded.

"You first." Naruto challenged, a spark grinding between his teeth.

"Very well. You have the honor of addressing Lord Turles! Last of the saiyans!"

"Eh, pretty sure that's not true...

At that, Turles twitched.

"Lies! As I said before, who the hell are you?!"

...I suppose I could tell ya-but you just wouldn't care, would you?" Turning to face them, the blond felt his face tighten in a scowl, angry sparks etching themselves into the landscape as he began to move. "I know your kind. You think you can just waltz in and take this planet, unchallenged. Well, I hate to crash this little party of yours-actually wait. I'd love to!"

"You poor fool." Turles scoffed, brushing him off. "With the powers I now possess, you don't stand a chance against me, let alone my men! You, you're going to die just like this planet, just like those others! It'll be your grave! But I'll give you a decent burial at least. After all, you're the first adversary to stand up to me in a long time."

"Oh, thank you your lordship!" Naruto snarked back in a sickly sweet voice. "I feel _ever_ so honored!" In actuality, he'd never been angrier in all his life. Oh, he'd fought despots before-crushed tyrants and the like-but not once, never, in all his years, had he seen an entire planet ruined. Yardrat had been beautiful once, of that much he was certain. Now it was merely a husk, a shell nearly devoid of life, its people all but broken. These pirates were to blame for it, and he swore right there, on his honor, on his pride, on his very _nindo_ that he wouldn't let them escape.

"You're boring me." Turles growled. "Amond, kill him."

Amond, the giant, evidently, lumbered upright.

"Sure thing, bo-GACK!"

Whatever assault he'd had planned, it ended the moment the dack of the blond's power swollen fist connected with his face. A singe blow, possessing less than a fourth of his base form's might. That was all it took to lay low the stumbling brute, bloodying his face into an unrecognizable mess of mangled tissue and bone.

Naruto lowered his fist, leaving Amond to topple to the ground, twitching..

"See, you're making it sound like I'm weaker than you." blue eyes glinting red, he stepped over the man's body-turned-corpse, uncaring as the soldier writhed in the throes of death. "I don't like that."

"YOU'RE WIDE OPEN, FOOL!"

He flattened Daiz with a backwards glance, reducing the green-haired man to atoms before he could so much as draw another breath. His pre-emptive strike was reduced to little more than a dry breeze as the last of his disintegrating body fell harmlessly through the space the God of Ramen had just occupied. Still he kept moving, never slowing in his advance towards Turles. For the fist time in nearly a decade the saiyan felt just a tiny pinprick of fear.

 _'What is he...?'_

"What are you waiting for?!" he blustered. "Kill him!"

His three remaining men lunged at Naruto, but it was like striking a brick wall. Well, not a brick wall. A normal brick wall would've been crushed by these warriors. But this wall held, moving relentlessly forwards despite their maneuvers, uncaring, for their efforts. Fists and feet and elbows alike, all these things rebounded harmlessly off the whiskered warrior, his stride never slowing, even for a moment. And then, in a flash of lightning, so swift that Turles himself nearly missed it...

...the God of Ramen struck.

Raisin and Lakasei fell abruptly, bifurcated as the blond swung down at their flailing forms. Carved neatly in twine, their corpses struck the ground. Naruto kept walking, his boots crunching their skulls without pause or preamble, lacking even the slightest of respect for the fallen dead. Cacao rebounded from such a blow and pounced, the bio-mechanical warrior leaping to intercept his course, only to find himself held fast by an invisible force.

"Hey, can I ask you something?" Naruto inquired pleasantly, fingers clenched into claws. "Does a machine like yourself experience fear?"

 _"...results inconclusive."_

"Lets fix that, shall we? HIYAH!"

Faster than Turles could detect, the blond eviscerated the creature, sending circuits and entrails spattering messily across the soil. He left the soldier their choking and gurgling.

"Impressive." he whistled. "I don't suppose you'd be interested in joining me."

"Sorry. I'm already gainfully employed."

"Pity."

Bits of broken earth began to rise around him, tumbling boulders ripping themselves free from the soil of Yardrat. Naruto doubled down, the flung projectiles disintegrating harmlessly against his burning aura, ground to dust as he continued to raise his ki to overwhelming heights.

...you're going to pay for what you've done."

"Bring it on, then, brat!"

Naruto glowered.

"Are you ready now?" Grunting, he lowered his stance and dug both his boots into the soil, hands aclenched into fists at his sides. "To witness a power not see for thousands of years?! FOR ENTIRE MILLENIA?! _HA!"_ With a thunderous shot he flared his aura, white burning blue, then red as the twin energies collided. Before his very eyes, the boy's spiky blond mane stood erect at his back; the flaxen-colored tresses gaining savage scarlet spikes even as thick, fat sparks of red coiled around him.

-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

"What? _What?!_ **WHAT?!"**

Turles shrank back as his scouter began beeping insistently, demanding his attention. It was one of the newer models, able to withstand powers well into the millions. But the number he saw there rooted him, paralyzed his legs even as his mind screamed at him to flee. "That can't be right!" he exclaimed! "It's over-!" Not a moment later it exploded, showering his face in sparks. With that, the red star that the blond had become, finally exhaled, shoulders sagging.

With a final, shuddering gasp, Naruto released his hold on the power.

Hair gleaming red and jagged, he raised his grave gaze.

"There." the red specter growled, fangs flashing. "That's as far as I can go without transforming."

"What...WHAT THE HELL?! What are you?!"

"I am justice." came the answer. "I am hope. When innocents cry out in hunger, I am the one who answers!"

An awkward silence fell between the two men.

...you totally lost me, there."

"Doesn't matter. You're about to die, anyway."

Turles swore.

"Well, that's not fair at all."

"Sorry. No fucks given."

A beat of silence. A pebble, tumbling over the cliff.

That was all it took.

 _Collision._

Red collided with purple, creating a storm of blows.

Naruto shifted, unflinching as a fist grazed his cheek; in the same instant he struck out, headbutting the saiyan renegade. Turles spun with the blow, using the man's own momentum to drive home a savage roundhouse that left his opponent seeing bloody red stars...

...and he kept right on coming!

Flowing seamlessly, he lashed out with blinding speed and slammed a kick into his torso, cracking a rib. Grimacing, Turles vaulted away, retreating as a hammer fist slammed down towards his head. Narrowly blocking the savage overhand he found himself spun about, blindsided by his tail-how could he hit so hard with that?!-the furry appendage momentarily wrapping around his eyes and blinding him. Wrenching it away he gave a heel palm to his opponent, only to find himself matched.

Four blows rang out, fists meeting fists, clenched knuckles slamming furiously against one another.

On the fifth, however, he found his hand caught. His arm throbbed painfully and he hopped away, hissing in pain as he clutched his injured fist. Turles told himself this foe meant next to nothing to him now and even less, but, now hesitation slowed him by a fraction of a second, and that was all it took for an open palm to smash into his unprotected stomach, folding him over. An elbow to the back of the head put him down again, his face cracking violently against the floor.

Naruto let him go, dithering a moment as Turles clutched at his skull.

"Is that your best?"

 _'No!'_ his mind raged! 'No. No. No! Kill! Murder! Destroy! Exterminate! Exterminate!'

Howling, he flung up his hand, engulfing his foe in purple light!

"HA! How do you like tha...tha...

"You think you're the first man to claim godhood?" Turles felt his blood turn to ice as the smoke cleared, exposing the blond, utterly unharmed. "No," Naruto drawled, lowering a hand, his palm slightly scorched from the mighty attack. "Yer just the most recent. Orochimaru was no different from you; hell, he was even weaker."

"No...NO!"

In a flare of purple the saiyan shot upright, racing towards the tree. Naruto followed him slowly, frowning.

"Running away, eh?"

He glanced at a shimmering hand, and that frown deepened. "Have I really gotten this strong?"

Unbidden, another memory took him.

Last year, the one day Whis has permitted him to return to his home...

* * *

 _(Flashback)_

 _Orochimaru gawped, blinking at the hole that that now occupied three fourths of his being._

 _It couldn't end like this._

 _He still had so much to say, so much to do, he still had to take Sasuke-kun's body! And yet, yet this attack had pierced through him as though his new body were made of clay. He couldn't find the strength to spit out a new body, couldn't become a snake and slither away into the shadows. He found himself paralyzed, petrified by the young man's stare, those gleaming, golden eyes staring down at him like an angry god's. A hand took hold of his prone body and tossed him into the ground, soil bursting beneath his flesh._

 _So dark. He couldn't see anything. Anything at all._

 _By the time he finally righted himself, he had no idea where he was. Exasperated he crawled into a standing position, gasping:_

 _"Graaaaaaaaaaaah, what the hell is happening right now?! WHERE THE FUCK AM I?!"_

 _Wait? What was that noise?_

 _And yet now he **could** see something, a bright radiance overshadowing all else, banishing the darkness to the corners of his vision..._

 _"Hold on, now I see a light..._

 _"Walk towards it." the blond deity opened his hands, still smoking from the explosive blast. A menacing sphere snarled in those palm, keening wildly. And then, he tossed it._

 _ **"RASENSHURIKEN!"**_

 _Orochimaru balked as the white light seared itself into his eyes._

 _"What the heeeeeeeeeeelll..._

 _The last thing the sinister sannin saw was the spiraling ball of doom hurtling towards his face._

 _(End Flashback)_

* * *

"I need to get out of here!"

Turles knew he was outmatched. Much as it galled him to admit it, he knew he didn't stand a chance against that kind of power. It was maddening, overwhelming, like trying to fight a hurricane and stand still! No! I will not be beaten by this! He swore it! He would note! He was Turles! He was mighty! He was strong!

 _'Yes, if I can just reach the fruit, I-_

A noise like thunder jerked him out of his reverie.

Standing before him, still as a stone statue, Naruto folded his arms. The spiky mess of his scarlet locks tilted slightly with his head, crimson eyes regarding him balefully. When those arms fell to his side he nearly bolted dead away, restraining himself only with a supreme effort of will. Naruto floated closer, his entire countenance betraying smug, silent satisfaction.

"Sooooo...Turles." the former blond began, bemused, "Where are you going?"

The renegade shrank back.

"Oh, you know, places."

"Places, hmm?" the crimson blond cocked his head aside, considering. Then he pointed, indicating some far-off point behind Turles's shoulder. "Like that mountain over there?

"Well, actually that looks more like a plateaaaaaaaaaaauuuuuu-

The next thing he knew, he was flying towards the very "mountain" Naruto had indicated.

Stone and rubble burst before his face in swift succession, tearing rents in his armor, driving small cuts into his body. He seemed to fall for an eternity, crashing through rock and mortar, before velocity finally took a bit of pity on him and let him grind to a halt. Unfortunately, his body was not so swift to recover. His eyes were the first to gain some semblance of sense back as he lay there, trapped in the crater. And what they saw there, dangling before them, sent new energy coursing through his body.

The tree!

Mircauously, he'd landed near the tree! Even now, he could see a branch hanging, bearing fruit!

 _Up, damn you! Get up!_ Swearing and spitting the Saiyan got on his hands and knees and _tried_ to stand, eyes watering, ears ringing. Pushing his hands against the gravely and granite soil, he'd made it all of halfway, a half-assed oath leaving his lips before the shadow fell upon him; before he raised his gaze and realized who-what-exactly he was looking at. A fist, swinging down at his face. The sheer impact created a massive crater; packed, and flattened by the impact of his landing.

 _'I...will not lose!'_ he resolved! _'Not like this! Not to this...FREAK!'_

Coughing blood, he struggled upright.

It hurt.

Everything.

Hurt.

 _And the ache._ It was everywhere. Absolutely everywhere. Raditating outward in his back, shrieking in his spine and shoulders; even breathing was an effort in and of itself. Turles couldn't quite pinpoint where it was _-or where his opponent was for that matter_ -only that there was no conceivable way he'd last long enough to make it to the fruit, let alone escape. And then, as if to mock him, his tormentor dropped into view. A hand did the unthinkable, reaching out, plucking the precious fruit from the branch.

"This looks important." Naruto mused aloud, holding the spiky gourd aloft. "Is it?"

"Um...yeah...?"

Blue eyes narrowed trollishly. "Imma eat it."

"Don't you do it!"

"IMMA DO IT!"

"NO!"

"HA!"

With a decisive CHOMP the blond bit down on the fruit.

 _'Oh, bloody hell.'_

Then his entire body folded up with a wheeze.

One blow.

One blow after eating the fruit was all it took to put the saiyan renegade down for good.

"Well?!" the blond crowed. "What's the matter?! Where did all that arrogance go? You were talking some good shit a second ago!"

Unable to sustain the effort required to stand, Turles flopped onto his back, all semblance of calm evaporating as gazed up into the blazing orbs of burning blond towering over him. No! Not like this! He was a saiyan! He couldn't go out like this! Who was he?! Who was this brat?! How had he gotten so damned strong?! No no no no! It could not end like this! Bereft, and facing death, he cried out:

"I give! I yield!"

"And why should I spare you!"

He nearly choked on his own pride, for survival was far more important. He would win, he would survive, and then...then...THEN...!

"No."

All he saw was the light...

...then darkness.

 **A/N: Aaaaaaaaaaaand there we have it! Note from Dragonball Heroes-granted, a different version of her!-makes her appearance! PAIRING IS STILL WHOLLY UP IN THE AIR! VOTE, YA'LL!**

 **Naruto being mentored by Whis himself! Pairing is up in the air folks, as this story will range far and wide across the cosmos. Naruto will indeed become a god, but he's not going to confine himself to one world, of course!**

 **Who knows what might happen?! Hells, Naruto could end up with one of the few DBZ girls for all we know. If so, I'm leaning towards Videl. The Hinata pairing may be one of my favorites, but I've got Beyond the Shadows for that that, and I feel NarutoxSakura has been done to death as it is.**

 **And yes, Naruto is crushing hard on Ayame. But whether anything comes of it remains to be seen. Shall we go with that?**

 **Or, do we need something new?! Refreshing! Something that'll sink its teeth into you and shake you like a T-Rex! Something that'll make ya laugh, giggle, smile, and saw AAAAAW! You know what I'm talking about, right? That's we're ya'll come in! Enlighten me!**

 **NOW VOTE!**

 **So...in the Immortal Words of Atlas...**

 **...Review, Would You Kindly? And of course, enjoy the preview! Thar be FOUR this time! YUP, BLATANTLY AMUSING TFS reference here, folks! As well as something else... AND AS OF NOW, AN OMAKE FOR EVERY CHAPTER! REMEMBER, VOTE FOR THE PAIRING!**

 **(Preview)**

 _Naruto entered the spaceship warily, not sure of what to expect._

 _What he did find, changed everything._

 _Trussed up and bound, she glared back at him defiantly._

 _Without thinking, he loosened the gag-_

 _CHOMP!_

 _"Ow!"_

 _"Who the heck are you?"_

 _...Note."_

* * *

 _"One miso ramen, please."_

 _Ayame turned, sighing as she effortlessly balanced another bowl in hand. Lunch hour. Always so busy! Now she had another order..._

 _"Hai, hai, coming right...right..._

 _Her words trailed off into stupefaction as she beheld the young man perched on the stool. The bowl in her hand suddenly felt like a lead weight, and she dropped it with a dull clatter._

 _"Naruto?"_

 _"Yo." he raised a hand lazily. "Long time no SEE?!"_

 _His last word turned into a startled yelp as she bounded over the counter and tackled him._

 _"Holy crap, you got big!"_

 _Naruto grunted in surprise as Ayame cannoned into him, burying her head in his chest. The impact didn't budge, him not in the least, but the the idea that his crush had become this sexy, gorgeous creature floored him as surely as any blow. Awkwardly, he returned the embrace, slowly rubbing the small of her back._

 _"Ahahaha...I'm back?"_

* * *

 _Naruto twitched, eyeing the small planetoid that had been so ungraciously christened "New Vegeta."_

 _Whis had INSISTED that this would be a good fight for him; personally, he didn't see the point. Even without omnipresent vision he could see that this "Broly" guy chafed under the control of his father. Honestly, he felt a little sorry for the poor guy. To live your entire life dominated by other, physically, mentally, completely..._

 _"Why the hell am I doing this?!"_

 _"Training, of course!" Whis beamed. "One must fight strong opponents to progress, after all. And I assure you, he's quite strong!"_

 _Naruto groaned._

 _"Can't I have a break?"_

 _"Shoryuken."_

 _"Oh. Well, thanks-GAH!"_

* * *

 _"There are many worlds, in many different universes. For example, this one." Before Naruto's very eyes, the opaque orb of Whi's staff became transparent, revealing a small planet. "See? This is called Earthland. Its a quaint little placed filled mages and interesting beings. They have the most delightful food, too~!_

 _...the hell's an Earthland?" Naruto blinked eyeing the world._

 _"And what's a mage?" Note asked._

 _"Lets find out, shall we?"_

* * *

 ** _(OMAKE!)_**

 ** _Frieza scowled, twitching as addressed the microphone._**

 ** _"For your information, I still have three more transformations to make-WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING, FOX?!"_**

 ** _Naruto straightened up, still chuckling._**

 ** _"Oh, that's cute. You have three!"_**

 ** _"So?!"_**

 ** _"I have NINE!"_**

 **R &R~! =D**


	3. In Thy Name

**A/N: SURPRISE!**

 **I had great plans for this story, then Super went and derailed them. I suppose it didn't help that I nearly DIED due to a nasty accident, one I'd rather not speak of. No, before you ask, it wasn't another shark attack. I've already suffered one of those while diving and got away-thankfully I was carrying a knife at the time-but this one made that pale by comparison. Could have been a hell of a lot worse, so I've decided to count my blessings.**

 **Still, I'm walking again, and I'm back to take another crack at things!**

 **I return my loyal subjects! So, I've been going over reviews, and an anonymous reviewer said something that really resonated with me. I love to write. But sometimes, I feel that this gift owns me, rather than I, owning it. Its like a beast inside me, this urge to create, but I can't control it very well, which results in a LOT of new stories. So as of last night, and continuing throughout the week, I'm rededicating myself to my work.**

 **Not so easily done now that I'm working TWO JOBS but hey, I'm nothing if not determined!**

 **LET THE BRAND NEW ERA BEGIN!**

 **Also, a lot of you guys pointed out that we really haven't gotten to see what happened to Naruto's world after he left. Yes, he came back for a day and happened to eradicate a certain sannin who he crossed paths with during that time. To clarify, his little visit occurred during the chunin exams, and he didn't exactly stick around. He saw the world -at the time- doing well enough without him and didn't want to interfere. He didn't really MEET anyone, stop in, or say hello. Orochimaru bit the bullet back then to be sure and he's gone for good, but think on this for a moment.**

 **If Naruto was gone, just how much might his world change?**

 **Without him, Gaara wouldn't understand friendship.**

 **Without him, Sarutobi wouldn't have a successor.**

 **Without him, Tsunade would never return.**

 **Without him, Sasuke never had a rival.**

 **Without him, Akatsuki's plan fails.**

 **Without him...**

 **...see where I'm going with this?**

 **So now, we get to see just how Naruto's absence truly affected his world...**

 **...and what might happen if he pokes his head back in.**

 **As to his current level of strength, well...**

 **Get ready for some fun~!**

 **It's meant to be entertaining, so I hope ya'll like it!**

 **Enjoy this sweet return to an old favorite tale!**

 **And the little hint of dialogue below!**

 _"Hey, that's unfair! I still remember **some** things."_

 _"Such as?"_

 _"Small stuff. Sunlight on my skin. The scent of favorite foods. A sprawling village. The scent of Ramen. Laughter. Her hand on my head, mussing my hair."_

 _"Ah. This is why gods don't get attached to mortals, you know. Desire unbalances you. You would have done better to find yourself a proper mate. Perhaps if you had, then-_

 _"You misunderstand everything. To see her again...to experience those simple pleasures again without this damnable responsibility weighing me down...would be worth anything."_

 _"You're right. My apologies, I spoke out of turn. That was rude of me."_

 _"Fine. Just forget about it...and stop hogging the sheets."_

 _...I haven't the foggiest idea what you mean, dear."_

 _"No, seriously! Its freezing out here!"_

 _"Sorry, can't hear you!_

 _"OI."_

 _~Naruto and Vados._

 **In Thy Name**

 _What's in a name?_

 _There is strength in names, power in speaking them. To have a name-no, a title-is to be known the world-universe!-over and to never be forgotten. Renowned. Feared. For example, if one was known as an 'executioner' of sorts, you wouldn't want to mess with them right? I certainly wouldn't! This wasn't a lesson I learned until much later in my training-my life, actually. Names possess power. Prestige. They can end a fight through the raw strength of reputation alone. Without so much as a single punch._

 _Think on it, for a moment._

 _God of Destruction._

 _Fire Shadow._

 _King of All._

 _Imposing titles, right?_

 _Terrifying._

 _Back then I didn't have any such names to speak of beyond my own. Didn't want any, either. Why should I? I was perfectly content to hone my skills under Whis's determined tutelage-and eventually, his sister once he deigned to introduce me. Yeah, looking back, that part miiiiiight have been a mistake. I'll not lie, I fell for her. Hard and fast. What can I say? I was young!_ _I learned more from Vados then I ever thought possible, and not just in the realm of combat. What? Why are you looking at me like **that?** What's with that pitying expression? Stop!_

 _That bit didn't come till later._

 _Still, mine was a good life and I wanted for nothing. I trained everyday, protected the weak, and had a concrete goal to reach for. Throw in three meals a day, a warm bed, and I was content. It never once occurred to me that others might think ill of me; or even how incredibly lucky, blessed even, I was to be trained by two supreme beings. My thoughts were seldom with my old home or my friends. In another life I might well have mourned and missed them, but in this one? When I never knew them?_

 _My life as a ninja had ended before it even began._

 _I think I can honestly say I'm happier like this. Life's simple._

 _But if I had one regret, one thing I wish I could have changed, it would be that day._

 _The day I realized just how much I'd unwittingly surrendered when I chose this new life..._

* * *

 _(...Konoha...)_

* * *

Another day, another order.

As ever, the afternoon lunch rush hit Ichiraku Ramen like a raging typhoon, sending chefs and waiters alike scrambling to keep up with hungry customers. Ayame soon found herself caught up in the chaos, forced to forsake shelter behind the counter to aid the rest of her beleaguered staff, lest they find themselves overwhelmed. From there, time flowed like water. Hours flitted by in the blink of an eye and before she realized it, she found herself faced with dinner and another onslaught of customers. Time blurred yet again and suddenly the sun hung low in the sky, informing her it was time to go home.

And so the cycle went on.

Life hadn't been the same for her Naruto vanished.

For anyone, really.

Rambunctious troublemaker though he might've been,nearly everyone in the village had known him in one capacity or another. His pranks annoyed many to be sure, but they seldom hurt anyone and Ayame always found them amusing. He'd always been a staple of Ichiraku, a happy customer, always wanting to chat.

He'd been a dear friend and with time, might have been more.

Then one day he was gone without a word, never to be heard from again. That had been...how many years ago now? Ayame couldn't bring herself to remember number. Sometimes she couldn't even recall what he looked like. As if someone had simply reached deep inside her and snuffed the memory out. Putting aside the turmoil caused by his sudden disappearance, she missed her old friend. More than words could say. She'd been just a little girl back then. Now, she was nearly a grown woman, with responsibilities. She had no time to think of such foolish flights of fancy but still, a part of her wondered...

 _Perhaps Naruto had been cursed._

A small part of Ayame had to begun to wonder if she was cursed as well; destined to spend the rest of her days wiling away in her father's shadow while the rest of the world marched on without her. It was so very hard to surpass the dead. Teuchi's death felt like a lifetime ago, when in reality the passing of her beloved father was only just now nearing its second anniversary. Had it really been that long? He'd left Ichiraku to her in his will despite vehement protests from the competition. And much to their charign, she turned the once humble stand into a thriving business. Of course she'd inherited it. Who else would it go to-

 ** _THUM!_**

"What the hell?!"

An earth-rattling crash shattered Ayame's thoughts like so much glass, lifting her from her feet and plunging the room into darkness. In the next instant the mighty tremor ceased altogether, leaving her to land hard upon her rear; only narrowly remembering to catch the bowls she'd been holding before they struck the ground. Flailing in the shadows, the young woman struggled upright, mind reeling from the sudden assault. Fear grappled with anger as another tremor hit, forcing her to scramble behind what she hoped-prayed!-might be the counter. An earthquake? There hadn't been any this season. She'd already paid Danzo's "tax collectors" last week, so it couldn't possibly be them, or so she reasoned. Was it an enemy attack, then? Relations with the other nations were still tense of course after Suna's assault, but for them to go this far seemed...well, absurd.

Emergency power kicked in a heartbeat later, the sudden light stinging her eyes.

"Ah, excuse me!" A rough male voice called from the partition behind her. "Pardon the intrusion. Is anyone here? This is Ichiraku, right? I barely recognize it...

"Ahem." a soft yet sharp voice intruded over his rough words. "Have you _forgotten_ the reason we came here in the first place?"

"Right, right. Sorry, Vados." his tone dipped in apology. "Yo! Anyone home?" Could I have one miso ramen, please?"

"Two, if you don't mind." the woman's voice echoed him.

"Right, then. Two!" he amended reluctantly. "You might want to wait outside, though."

"Ara, and whyever would I want to do such a thing?" came the smoldering reply.

"Because I asked nicely and our landing made a huge fucking crater?"

"I fail to see the problem with any of that-

"Three bowls of ramen. Final offer."

"Oh, very well...

Ayame's eye twitched dangerously.

She'd heard enough.

 _Troublesome!_

Not an attack, then.

Just a loud, unruly guest.

"Of all the damned, irresponsible...!"

Growling at their insolence and more than a little infuriated, she snatched up an empty bowl and stormed out from behind the counter, simultaneously stifling a small sigh of annoyance and fixing a firm smile in place. Earthquakes aside, last-minute customers were commonplace these days. Ordinarily she would've served them regardless of her disposition, but today she simply didn't have the heart for it. Her only thoughts were of home and a bottle of sake. _That and breaking this bowl over their heads!_

"I'm sorry, we're clo...

Ayame's words trailed off in silent disbelief as she crossed the threshold and beheld the intruders-rather, the young man-standing in the entrance. Her world stopped and she blinked. It was the only thing she could think to do. Once. Twice. Three times. The empty bowl in her hand suddenly felt like a lead weight and she dropped it with a dull clatter, leaving it to shatter at her feet. She barely noticed it. She knew that face...no. That was impossible. Her mind shut down all at once then rebooted, momentarily unable to equate the towering stranger standing before her and his spiky blond mane before her with the reed-thin boy who'd frequented Ichiraku in the past. Yet those eyes were still the same, and there could be no mistaking his whiskered face, nor that roguish smile.

Spirits, it _was_ him.

Her hands flew to her face.

"Naruto?" she whispered quietly.

 _That_ got a reaction out of the young man.

Pausing, the stranger wearing black and blue robes regarded her in confusion for long moment, trying to place her teary visage.

Then comprehension dawned.

"Yo, Ayame!" he raised a hand lazily. "Long time no see! I almost didn't recognize _you?!"_

The rest of his greeting warped into a strangled yelp as Ayame vaulted over the counter and tackled him to the ground, welding her lips to his. Locking her legs around his waist she rode the bewildered blond to the floor and pinned him there, uncaring of his startled exclamation. In hindsight, she didn't know why she'd done that. Not the kissing, she _knew_ the reason for that. The tackling bit was another matter. There was no thought to her actions; no rhyme or reason to why she did it. Only simple, pure delight at seeing an old friend again.

Said friend certainly didn't protest.

Not until she pulled away at any rate.

"Is it really you...?"

"That depends."

"On?"

"Do I still get ramen if I say yes?" he managed with a small smile.

Ayame couldn't help herself any longer after that; the reply was just so...Naruto. She hadn't been mistaken after all. A wave of grief and joy swept the last of her suspicions aside and she burst into hysterical laughter. Not a moment later she began sobbing loudly, unable to stop. A strange, happy sort of sorrow writhed like wild snakes inside her dashing all hopes of resistance.

"Idiot!" she wailed, striking his chest-ineffectively-with a clenched fist. "Stupid! Where have you been?! Do you have any idea what you did?!"

"Yeah, but-

"Shut up! I'm not done being angry with you!"

Naruto sighed in wordless acknowledgement as Ayame awkwardly traced one hand over his vest before her emotions got the better of her again and she buried her face in his chest to cry anew. Physically the abruptness of her kiss hadn't so much stunned him as it had startled him. Not in the least. He hadn't realized his absence could possibly affect her this much. Still the the idea that his crush had become this sexy, gorgeous creature floored him as surely as any blow. Mustering what remained of his faltering resolve, he returned the embrace, slowly rubbing the small of her back.

"Will you stop hitting me if I apologize?" he drawled, a hint of exasperation coloring his tone. She could just _hear_ the arched eyebrow in his words. "Or am I going to get another kiss?"

"I should clobber you even harder for that!"

"Dying in the arms of a lovely lady?" a shrug rolled the living mountain beneath her. "Not a bad way to go."

 _Steam._

Some distant part of Ayame was distantly aware of the compliment; even as her face turned a thousand shades of red. Dear god, she wanted to _die._

"Then...don't move."

"Eh?"

 _"Isaidnomovingstupididiotihateyou!"_

Ayame bleated out the words and buried her face even deeper into Naruto's robes, refusing to look at her old friend. Never had she been so keenly aware of how she must look than in this moment. Instead she clutched at his vest all the harder for it, her face burning all the while. Stupid, stupid, stupid! What had she been thinking, lunging at him like that?! Naruto probably thought she was some kind of lovelorn fool, leaping at him as she'd done! Her only recourse was to hold him down until these foolish thoughts let her be and she could look at him again without going mad. Yes, that was it. She'd no ulterior motive or anything like that. Nope. Not at all. She half-expected him to laugh at her.

In the end Naruto simply sighed and slouched back against the ground.

"Jeez, fine!" he groaned. "Gut you'd better treat me for this, ya know. Mind if I tell what I've been up to in the meantime?"

Unable to trust her tongue lest it betray her yet again, the owner of Ichiraku managed a mute nod.

"Great!" Just like that, his boyish enthusiasm came rushing back. "Y'see, it all started when...

 _They laid like that for a very long time indeed._

 **A/N: Aaaaaaaaaaaand there we have it!**

 **PAIRING IS STILL WHOLLY UP IN THE AIR! VOTE, YA'LL!**

 **At this point in the story, Naruto is being mentored by Whis and Vados alike. Once again, the pairing is up in the air folks, as this story will range far and wide across the cosmos. Naruto will indeed become a god, but he's not going to confine himself to one world, of course!**

 **Who knows what might happen?! Hells, Naruto could end up with one of the few DBZ girls for all we know. If so, I'm leaning towards Videl. The Hinata pairing may be one of my favorites, but I've got Beyond the Shadows for that that, and I feel NarutoxSakura has been done to death as it is.**

 **And yes, Naruto is crushing hard on Ayame. But whether anything comes of it remains to be seen. Shall we go with that?**

 **Or, do we need something new?! Refreshing! Something that'll sink its teeth into you and shake you like a T-Rex! Something that'll make ya laugh, giggle, smile, and saw AAAAAW! You know what I'm talking about, right? That's we're ya'll come in! Enlighten me!**

 **NOW VOTE!**

 **So...in the Immortal Words of Atlas...**

 **...Review, Would You Kindly? And of course, enjoy the preview! Thar be FOUR this time! YUP, BLATANTLY AMUSING TFS reference here, folks! As well as something else... AND AS OF NOW, AN OMAKE FOR EVERY CHAPTER! REMEMBER, VOTE FOR THE PAIRING!**

 **(Preview)**

 _Vados sighed into her hand._

 _"Oh, dear. They pushed the ramen button."_

 _"Wait," Ayame swallowed thickly. "I'm sorry, the what?"_

 _It was like flicking a switch; Naruto's face closed down, his once open expression locking itself behind endless barriers. He stood slowly, bits of broth still dripping from his hair. If he was at all concerned about the show of deadly force, he did precious little to show it. If anything, he seemed to welcome the conflict these two were inviting. Wait? Was he...glowing? Ayame squinted, suddenly noticing the faintest azure aura stemming from the blond's shoulders, watching as he rose to his full towering height._

 _When he finally smiled, the very sight of it curdled Ayame's blood. It was not a pleasant sight._

 _"Well now." he purred softly. "I believe mistakes were made. And they were yours."_

 _To their credit, the Anbu captain somehow didn't falter in the face of it._

 _"Enough of your wit! Come with us now or Danzo-sama will have-_

 _A hand snapped up, clenching around his masked face._

 _"Hmm, let me think about tha **-nope."**_

 _And all hell broke loose._

 **R &R~! =D**


End file.
